Dancing on broken glass
by JustMe-Liz
Summary: Takes place in S2E16 - You've got Yale! Chuck is too late and Jack Bass succeeds in raping Lily. This explores how that effects her and her relationships with Rufus, Chuck and her children. Main couples will be Rufly Rufus/Lily and Chair Dan/Blair . Other characters and couples may appear.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - If this was not made obvious in the summary, this chapter contains rape. **

**There will be M-rated content in the story, including flash backs to rape and having to do with that.**

**Rape is a serious issue and I am not trying to make light of it in any way. The purpose of this story is simply to explore the psychological effect it would have had on Lily and the relationships with all those close to her.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the characters, I am merely a fan.**

Chapter 1

Lily Bass could not ignore the flutter in her stomach as she entered the ladies room, taking out an extremely flattering shade of lipstick. Now the take over had been finalised and they could push Jack out of the company, she could look forward to spending the rest of the night with Rufus. Her expression fell as the door opened, revealing the Jack Bass entering without hesitation. Like he had every right to be there.

She did not even bother to turn around, simply choosing to address his reflection, her face contorted in a puzzled frown.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She watched uneasily as he locked the door before turning to her, his expression clouded with danger.

"I should ask you the same thing."

Jack took a step towards him. There was no mistaking the pure hatred in his and Lily turned to face him, sighing resignedly.

"It's what Bart wanted. I'm sorry."

"So you say. I'm not so sure."

She met his gaze confidently.

"I'm not scared of you, Jack."

"You should be."

Dread filled her at his words, but she chose to not show it. He would not see her afraid. Another realisation shook her as she took a good look at him and she approached him confidently.

"You're high, you're not thinking clearly. You need to think about the repercussions of what you are doing."

She met his intense gaze without wavering, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

When he did not reply, she glanced down for but a second and tried to move past him, still keeping up the charade of calmness and confidence.

He moved to block her way swiftly, grabbing on to her arm.

"I don't think I do."

Lily shrugged away from his presence, the smell of his alcohol fuelled breath hitting her the second he spoke.

Jack finally felt a glimmer of satisfaction as he noticed the glimpse of fear settling in her eyes.

She was afraid. She just would not admit it.

There was no denying her obvious beauty as she stared at him, trying her best to hide her fear. To him, however, it was obvious. She was like a deer, trapped in the headlights, knowing that the inevitable shot was coming. The alluring smell of her perfume overwhelmed his senses, joining with the anger he felt because of her betrayal. He pushed her against the wall roughly, his attraction to her taking a backseat to his anger for a minute.

"You think you can squeeze me out? I worked for this, I earned it!"

Her breathing had become laboured, fear seemed to control her. She made one last attempt to convince him to give up.

"Jack, it's over."

He was drowned by her presence, her smell, her face so close to his. Now he could see what Bart saw in her.

Both his hands clamped around her head as his lips found hers forcefully, drowning out her whimper.

Her screams seemed far away as he whispered loathing words in her ear. He wasn't even aware of what he was saying, screaming at her as his one hand settled around her neck, the other desperately crumpling up her dress.

"No, please!"

He felt contentment at her desperate plea, the knowledge that she realised what was about to happen pleasing him immensely.

He dropped his hand from her leg to clamp it over her mouth violently.

His other hand moved from her neck to run down her stomach, cupping one of her breasts forcefully.

She recoiled from his touch and he pushed her against the wall harshly, his mouth finding hers again.

She tasted exquisite and he felt an immediate need to taste more of her. He forced her lips open with his tongue, kissing her violently as his hand crept up her dress again, ripping lacy underwear from her body.

She managed to pull away from him, a scream ripping from her throat once more. He cut it off with his mouth, tearing her hair out of the sophisticated bun causing it to fall loosely in her face.

He could taste salty blood as he kissed her and he pulled away for a minute, replacing his mouth with his hand.

"You should wear your hair down."

Tears burned her eyes, but he could see her determination not to let them fall. Her hands worked their way up to his chest, trying desperately to shove him away, but he laughed at her futile attempt.

He was too strong.

"It's no use fighting. Surely you know that. This time, I win."

Nausea filled her stomach at the sound of his words, her hands still shoving against him with as much force as she could summon.

It only seemed to encourage him even more and she stifled a sob as she heard the unmistakable clank of his belt hitting the tiles. She could feel his hand moving against her thigh as he loosened his pants.

"How does it feel, Lily? How does it feel to have all your power taken away?"

His voice sounded poisonous in her ear and her breath hitched in her throat as he tore her dress off her shoulders, letting it fall on the ground. She looked away, unable to stomach the greedy look on his face as she stood exposed in front of him.

The sound of her bra ripping tore through her heart and she finally allowed the first tear to fall.

The wet feel of her tear against his hand aroused him even more and she allowed a sob to escape as she felt his hardness against her.

"Yes, Lily. Cry for me."

She managed to face him, biting back tears.

"Jack, please don't do this."

He swept her hair from her face, his lips trailing a path from her cheeks to her mouth.

He smothered her anguished scream with his mouth as he entered her forcefully, lavishing in the feel of her nails scraping the skin against his arms frantically.

Lily sobbed against his mouth as he thrust against her uncontrollably, her hand meeting his cheek with a loud smack in a desperate attempt to get away from him.

Jack pulled his mouth from hers momentarily and she took the opportunity to scream as loud as possible.

Another violent thrust tore through her and she gasped in pain, her head falling forward.

Jack groaned as he moved inside her, resting his forehead on her blonde hair.

"You're surrendering to me. You're giving up."

She tried to block out his words, his movements, fixating on a spot against the wall.

Jack pushed her against the wall angrily, dissatisfied with her body becoming limp in his arms.

"Fight back!"

His mouth met hers again, this tongue invading her as he clawed at her breasts, her hips, her thighs.

He was so preoccupied with touching her, shoving against her, letting his teeth scrape against her soft skin.

He did not even notice the door bursting open until he heard Chuck's outraged cry, until he felt himself forcefully being pulled away from her. Arms pulled him away, dragging him off.

Chuck ignored him, rushing to Lily's crumpled form on the floor.

"Lily…"

"Get away from me!"

Her panicked scream tore through his heart and he lowered his head, searching her eyes.

"It's Charles. Lily, you're safe now. I won't hurt you."

His hands searched, finding the silky material of her dress and he carefully picked it up.

He moved her limp body towards him, slipping the dress over her head gently. She finally seemed to register him being there, their eyes meeting.

"Charles…"

A sob hitched in his throat as he took in the sight of her. Vulnerable, bruised and beaten. Her pride stripped away thoughtlessly, violently.

"Lily, I am so sorry."

She finally allowed the sobs to escape from her throat, her body shaking uncontrollably. Chuck looked up, his eyes meeting one of the bodyguards who followed him.

"Find Rufus Humphrey. Now."

He shifted his eyes to another one desperately.

"You – make sure no one but Rufus enters. Are we clear?"

After two nods followed by a soft "Yes Mr Bass" both men left swiftly and Chuck moved, shifting Lily onto his lap. His hands stroked over her back soothingly as she sobbed against his shoulder.

"Lily, look at me."

Their eyes met and he recoiled instinctively, shocked at the emptiness in hers.

"Rufus is on his way. Then we need to get you to a hospital."

"No. No…"

"Lily, we don't have a choice. You need to see a doctor. Now, I'm no expert, but judging by the bruises I saw…"

He broke off, unable to accept what his uncle had done.

The door opened once more and he looked up over her head, his eyes meeting those of Rufus.

"What the hell happened?"

Rufus rushed forward in a flash, kneeling down beside them. Lily looked up through her tears, reaching for him desperately.

Rufus moved towards her carefully, cradling her against his chest as her arms moved around his neck. He looked at Chuck over her shoulder, dread nestling in him.

"Chuck? What happened?"

Chuck bit back tears as he looked at the pair, resting his back against the wall wearily.

"I came in here… because I was worried that Jack… that he might do something. I wanted to stop him from hurting her."

"Chuck…"

"I'm sorry. I was… I was too late. When I came in, he was already… I stopped him, I pulled him off of her, but I was too late."

Rufus looked down, sweeping Lily's hair out of her face, searching her face for any trace of violence.

"Rufus…"

Chuck's voice called him back and his eyes followed the direction of Chuck's face, spotting a torn piece of black lace on the floor.

Nausea filled him, the underwear on the floor confirming his presumption.

Chuck could not move from his spot on the floor, his eyes closed.

"You… you need to get her to a hospital, Humphrey. Take my limo. Get there now."

Rufus nodded, softly pulling Lily up with him.

"Lil? Can you stand?"

She nodded slowly, still unable to speak. Her eyes finally found Chuck's, her mouth opening expectantly. However, she found herself unable to form a single sound. She breathed shakily as she turned away from him, allowing Rufus to guide her outside.

Dan and Serena both stood outside as he led her out, worry lying naked in their eyes.

"Mom…"

Serena's voice was thick with concern, but Rufus shook his head quickly, shielding her from them.

"Chuck is still in there. He needs… I don't know what he needs, but he shouldn't be alone. I'll take care of Lily, I'll meet you back home. Just… give us a minute."

Serena nodded in understanding, running her hand through her hair and looking down to shield the fear in her eyes.

"I'll find Blair. She… she's the only one who'll know what to do."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. DanilaRufly - I know what you mean. I've wanted to write this for a while now, but the concept of Lily getting hurt put me off for so long. She is my favourite character on the show, I totally love her. But in the end, the idea of exploring how this would change her won me over.**

**christmasinacup - You're right when you say she was too schocked to even cry, that's what I was going for. I figured she would try to stay poised and calm, she doesn't strike me as the type of person who would want to admit that she was hurt. But, Rufus is her one weakness - she can never hide her emotions from him and that will show too!**

**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them!**

Chapter 2:

He had no idea how they made it to Chuck's limo, blindly helping Lily in.

It killed him to see the pain in her eyes and he pulled her onto his lap, his arms gently folding around her.

"Lil… talk to me. Please?"

"What do you want me to say, Rufus?"

"Anything."

She looked away, biting back tears again.

"I couldn't stop him. He was too strong."

She finally turned her head to face him, her eyes pleading with him.

"Take me home, Rufus. Please?"

"Lil, Chuck is right. You need to get to the hospital."

"I don't want to. It's over, I don't want to lie naked in front of doctors and nurses… I don't want to be a victim. I've been humiliated enough for one night."

Rufus rested his palm against her cheek tenderly.

"Lily, you… what happened… I don't know what to say to you. All I know is that if you let this go it's going to haunt you forever. You need to get to the hospital. You need… you to do that to press charges."

"It's going to haunt me either way. No matter what I do. I'm not pressing charges."

"Lil… you need to fight back."

She recoiled from him instantly, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Fight back? Don't you think I tried? I tried and I lost. He… I tried fighting back and where did that get me?"

A series of sobs escaped from her lips and Rufus reached out, pulling her against him.

"It hurts, Rufus."

His own tears mixed with hers as he held her, his arms folded around her.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you tonight, Lil. But for the rest of my life… and yours… I've got you. I won't let you go. I'll protect you with my life. I've got you."

Their eyes met as the limo stopped in front of a hospital, Rufus's pleading with her. She nodded silently, allowing him to lead her out of the car, into the sterile white halls.

"Blair! Blair!"

Serena rushed up the stairs, looking at Blair desperately.

"We need your help."

Blair turned lightly, her eyes finding those of Serena.

"My help? I'd be delighted to use my expertise to scheme with you andBrooklyn, S, but I actually have a future to fight for so if you'll excuse me…"

"It's not a scheme. It's… It's Chuck."

Blair rolled her eyes, trying desperately to hide her feelings.

"Look, if Chuck is on another one of his desperate binges for attention, I'm even less interested."

"It's not that, B. It's got something to do with Jack and my mom… all I know is that he needs you. Please."

Blair hesitated for just a second before promptly moving down the stairs.

"Fine. Where is he?"

Lily stared out in front of her blankly as hands ushered her into a hospital room, Rufus trailing behind anxiously. She tuned out the multitude of voices, her eyes finding Rufus's. He moved closer, grabbing onto her hand.

"I'm right here, Lil. I'm right here."

She moved her head to face him, tears spilling over her cheeks as a doctor entered, moving to her hesitantly.

"Mrs Bass, we need to do a rape kit. The police is outside, waiting to question you. If you are up for it, they'll come in when we are done."

Lily nodded blankly, taking a deep breath.

"Just… I just want to get it over with."

The doctor's eyes fluttered to Rufus, who stood closely, his hand still enveloping hers.

"Sir, if you could give us a minute."

"No."

The voice belonged to Lily and she glanced at Rufus before looking at the doctor.

"He can stay."

Doctor Caroline Watson looked at Lily sympathetically, finding her eyes.

"Mrs Bass… the rape kit will be invasive. Are you certain that you can handle Mr Humphrey's presence?"

Lily laughed dryly, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Invasive? I was raped, Doctor Watson. By my late husband's brother. He pushed me against a wall, tore my clothes off and forced him onto me. It felt like it was never going to stop, until my stepson entered and pulled him off me. He held my naked body in his arms. He was the one who dressed me. What can be more invasive, more humiliating? If I allow you to scrape my body for evidence…Rufus needs to be here."

Lily turned her head towards Rufus as Dr Watson nodded before opening the box, tuning out every swipe, swab and touch on her body, her eyes boring into Rufus's silently.

"Chuck?"

He registered Blair's voice, looking up to see her hesitantly entering the bathroom. She looked around confusedly, her heart beating furiously in her chest.

"Chuck, what happened?"

She knelt in front of him, taken aback by the tears in his eyes.

"I was too late. It's my fault."

Blair moved to sit next to him, moving her hand into his.

"Talk to me."

"Lily… signed a form to legally adopt me, effectively getting rid of Jack. He was pissed and I knew it. But I didn't do anything about it, I didn't protect her."

"What did he do?"

"He…"

Chuck caught sight of the crumpled underwear on the floor again and a sob escaped from his chest.

"He followed her in here. I realised she was gone and so was he, so… I looked for him. And when I came in here…"

Blair followed his eyes, her breath hitching in her throat as she caught sight of the underwear on the floor.

"Chuck… did he…?"

Chuck nodded blankly.

"When I came in here… He had her up against the wall… There was nothing I could do. I was too late. I saw him… raping the only woman in the world who was ever willing to be my mother."

Blair's head dropped, her heart stopping for a second.

"Where is Lily now?"

"Rufus took her to the hospital."

Blair stood, holding her hand out to him.

"Come on. We'll go and see her."

"I can't. All of this is my fault. I'm the last person she'll want to see."

"Chuck, it's not your fault."

She pulled him up, allowing him to lean on her for support.

"I can't see her now, Blair. I can't face her."

"Okay. Let me take you home then."

A rare vulnerability showed on his face as their eyes met.

"Will you stay with me?"

Tears formed in her eyes as his hand gripped hers desperately.

"Of course."

"Dad! Lily!"

Both Rufus and Lily looked up at the sound of Jenny's voice. She rushed into Lily's room urgently, her eyes wide.

"Are you okay?"

It was Lily who answered as Rufus turned away, his eyes closed.

"I'll be fine, Jenny. Did you… did you bring me something to wear?"

Jenny nodded quickly, holding up a bag.

"I could… help you dress if you wanted?"

Lily glanced at Rufus, who stood still trying to compose himself.

"Thank you, Jenny. I would appreciate that. Rufus, could you give us a minute?"

Rufus nodded, leaving the room slowly as Jenny put the bag on a chair. She helped Lily sit up, sliding the hospital gown off her shoulders gently.

Lily looked away, a red tint playing on her cheeks.

Jenny hesitated, taking out a pair of black underwear.

"Are you… does it hurt?"

Lily nodded slightly, wincing as she pulled the underwear up.

"Yes. Yes, it does."

"I'm sorry, Lily. Really, you're the last person who deserves it."

She turned back again, taking out a cashmere sweater and a pair of loose fitting pants.

"I'm sorry, this isn't exactly fashionable. But I figured after… after everything you'd want to be comfortable."

"Yes. Thank you."

She pulled the sweater over Lily's head quietly, helped her with the pants before she sat down on the hospital bed next to her.

"It… It gets better. The humiliation. It wasn't your fault, Lily. And sometimes… you just can't fight back, but that doesn't make you weak. It makes you human."

Lily nodded slightly, looking at Jenny with more attention.

"Jenny… why do I get the feeling that you know what this feels like?"

Jenny shrugged, averting her eyes.

"Look I probably shouldn't tell you this, but last year… at a party… Chuck tried… He didn't do anything. Dan stopped him, but… after it I felt dirty, humiliated and weak. I know what it feels like when a Bass attacks you. I just wish someone had saved you in time too."

Lily's hand wrapped around Jenny's and she forced a tiny smile onto her face.

"Thank you for telling me, Jenny. And… for helping me get dressed."

"You're welcome. And… look, I know this is a lot to ask, but please don't tell my dad what I told you. Chuck apologised and I'm okay now. I just… I wanted you to know that you're not entirely alone."

"I appreciate it."

"You'll get through this, Lily. You're strong."

She smiled gently, holding her hand out to Lily. The older woman took it, slowly making her way out to the hall.

Rufus spun on his feet, his arms circling around Lily the second he saw her.

"Are you ready to go home, honey?"

"Yes. We can go."

Blair switched on the light, leading Chuck into his room. She glanced at him, her hand still firmly wrapped around his. Chuck stared at her blankly, sitting down on the bed.

"I'm just as bad as he is."

Blair spun around at his words.

"Chuck… you've done some pretty bad things, I can't argue with that. But you are not Jack. You're nowhere as bad as he is."

"How can you be sure?"

Blair moved, lying down behind him and wrapped her arms around him securely.

"I know you, Chuck. I know you better than you know yourself. You're good. Deep down… I know you are."

She held his hand in hers firmly, buried her head in his neck.

"You did what you could. You tried your best to save her. She'll be fine."

Chuck breathed deeply, his eyes closed.

He was too late. Lily wasn't fine and she never would be again. Scenes replayed in his mind of himself, trying to do the same thing to Jenny Humphrey. To Serena.

Bile rose up in his throat and he trembled in Blair's arms, vividly remembering the look on Lily's face, thanking every higher power that neither Serena nor Jenny ever carried that broken look because of him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for the lovely reviews! I just want to put it out there that this will be a long-ish fic, I want to really explore Lily** **and her family coming to terms with everything. This chapter is very short - sorry for that, I'm a little busy marking exam papers etc. Hope you still enjoy it though!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.**

Chapter 3:

Rufus kept his arm around Lily protectively as they entered the loft, leading her up the stairs carefully. Jenny trailed behind, quietly making an escape to her room as Rufus and Lily slowly sat down on the sofa.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Lil?"

Lily shook her head slowly, wincing as she stood.

"I… I need to take a shower. I feel dirty."

"Should I come with you?"

Lily forced a smile onto her face, touching his cheek.

"Thank you, Rufus, but you've done enough. I want to be alone for minute."

Rufus nodded, watching worriedly as she made her way up the stairs.

Lily winced with each step she took, pain ripping through her ribs, her thighs. When she finally reached her bathroom, she turned the water on, making sure that it was scorching hot before slipping out of her clothes and getting into the shower.

She ignored the burning on her skin, pouring a generous amount of soap on her loofah before desperately scrubbing against her skin until drops of blood appeared on her skin. Only when her skin was raw and red all over did she drop the loofah, sinking on her knees and allowing tears to fall, mixing with the water.

"Lil?"

Rufus' voice shook her out of her tragic daze and she used the wall for support as she stood.

"Lily, are you all right?"

She winced as the shower door slowly opened, shrinking back from his inquisitive eyes.

"Rufus, don't…"

His eyes searched over her red skin as he stepped into the shower, not even bothering to take off his shoes.

"Lily…"

She sobbed as he pulled her to his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist desperately.

"I need to forget… I need to forget what he did to me, how he touched me. I need to forget feeling violated and dirty. Help me, Rufus…"

Her green eyes pleaded in his, tears forming in them.

Rufus closed his eyes, his arms tightening around her body as her lips sought his desperately. It took all of his willpower to push her away softly.

"Lily, not like this."

Fresh tears filled her eyes as she brought her hands up to rest on his chest.

"Why? Because I'm spoiled for you? Because you find me revolting now?"

Rufus moved to turn off the water and picked her up in his arms, carrying her out to the room after wrapping a towel around her body.

"You could never be spoiled or revolting, Lil. I love you, I always will. I'll always find you gorgeous. Attractive. But I can't take advantage of you. I love you too much."

Lily grabbed onto his hand, fresh tears streaming over her cheeks.

"I want to be strong, Rufus. But I don't know how anymore. He took that from me."

Rufus looked at her, speechless upon witnessing the raw pain in her eyes.

"Lily…"

"Mom!"

Both Lily and Rufus looked up as the door opened, Serena storming in.

"Is it true?"

Lily quickly made an effort to compose herself as she looked at her daughter.

"Serena…"

"Did Jack Bass… did he really…?"

Lily glanced at Rufus who was still holding her to him.

"Rufus, could you excuse us for a second?"

He nodded carefully, squeezing Serena's shoulder before leaving. Serena moved forward, sitting down on the bed next to Lily.

Mother and daughter stared at each other quietly before Lily managed to find the ability to speak.

"It's true. After I signed the forms to adopt Charles, effectively pushing Jack out of the company, he found me and… he attacked me. Charles came in looking for me, but he was too late. Jack already…"

"He raped you."

The words shocked through Lily, but she kept her poise desperately, simply nodding.

"Yes."

"How are you feeling?"

"Honestly, I don't know, Serena. Right now, I'm mostly tired."

Serena softly took her mother's hand, squeezing it softly.

"Mom, you don't need to be strong right now."

"I do. It's all I have left. I'll talk to you tomorrow, dear. Right now, I just need to go to sleep."


End file.
